When my mother was 28, she started to go grey. And when I was 28, so did I. So, I did what a lot of women do. I dyed it. Every 4-6 weeks. For the last fifteen years.
Truth be told, the idea of growing out my grey never once crossed my mind…until an incredibly chic friend of mine told me to google the name Sarah Harris. I was OBSESSED. I went to my stylist and asked if we could make silver hair like hers happen. After all, my mother has the most gorgeous white hair…so surely the grey hair I had been covering for years must be close too.
Unfortunately, my dream of having long silver locks was almost immediately shattered. To be more specific, my longtime stylist laughed at my request. And rightfully so. Because, although my hair will *hopefully* be silver one day (honestly, can’t wait!)…that day is still very far away. Like most women my age, I’m at that dreaded in-between shade of grey – not quite grey and not quite brown. Sarah Harris’ hair would require more upkeep than I was already doing. So, I abandoned the idea of going grey.
That is, until about 3 months ago, when I found myself deep in a Pinterest and social media hole searching for cool women going grey. I was delighted with what I found: confident, stylish women embracing their natural gray hair in a completely new way. Gone are the days of grey hair symbolizing “old age”. It wasn’t just chic grey-haired women (which frankly, aren’t hard to find)…it was younger women and older women alike leaning into the transition from their natural hair color to grey in a bold, fashion-forward way. It was one of the coolest things I had seen in a while. I was inspired.
Quick PSA: there are some people who can go cold-turkey and make it look cool (I.E.: Whitney Lichty). If you are lucky enough to be one of these people whose grey strands blend in beautifully with their gorgeous curly hair, go for it. I envy you. I am the opposite. What looks effortlessly chic (and TBH, a low-maintenance style) on other people reads as borderline-sloppy on me. I have always had to put in effort to look put together. So, walking around with grey roots and warm brown dyed hair didn’t look like a style choice, it looked like I had missed my root touch-up appointment. I wanted the grow out to look like a fashion choice and so I am working on a more gradual transition.
I sent inspiration pictures to my colorist, she was equally obsessed. And so, the process of transitional dyeing began. While I could take you through a step-by-step guide of what my stylist has done so far, here is my only advice and generally a good idea to consider in this process: find a professional that you trust who shares your vision for how you want the gray roots to grow out and leverage their expertise. This includes finding the right hairstyle for you, something that not only works with your face shape but with your new grey hair color. I will also offer my insights into an equally importantnpart of this process: the need to evolve your personal style amidst the transition to grey.
GET INSPIRED: FIND YOUR NEW MUSES WITH GREY HAIR
This may sound naïve, but it genuinely hadn’t occurred to me just how big an impact growing out my grey would make to my personal style – mostly because it’s been a LONG time since I made any sort of drastic change in my hair color. Anyone who has ever made a drastic change to their hair knows that it changes how you look in almost everything.
Makeup looks different, your skin tone looks different, colors that used to flatter you no longer look the same, and (as I learned almost IMMEDIATELY after my most recent hair appointment) the things that were formerly your favorite go-to pieces don’t work in the same way. It’s amazing how much a simple hair change can impact your entire overall appearance.
For some context, my aesthetic is a borderline chaotic high-low mix of print, menswear plaids, graphic tees and statement jewelry…almost always back to denim & high-top chuck taylors. I have lived in California for over 20 years, so I fall on the casual end of the style spectrum.
If I could have any celebrity’s closet, it would be Clare V (plus a dash of hyper-femme Zimmerman for good measure). What I didn’t realize (though it seems obvious now), is that my previous hair goes perfectly with that style aesthetic. My hair color // texture // styling is pretty similar to Clare Vivier – dark brown, naturally wavy and almost always air-dried in a done but un-done way. Suddenly, I now had charcoal hair with light grey at the roots that I was showing proudly. Of course my outfits looked different. I needed new style inspiration, so I went out and found some.
Here’s why these women speak to me:
1. Their style feels like me, but pushed forward into a new chapter. I am not a new person, I just have new hair. They are leaning into a person style chapter that seems to enhance their natural beauty, no matter the exact hair type or shade of grey. I have no interest in replacing everything in my closet or adopting an entirely new fashion persona…but I am looking for ways to evolve my style and embrace this new aspect of my personal style. I could replicate their outfits using the clothing I already have & love by putting it together in different ways.
2. They all have a youthful appearance at every. They all have an overt sophistication and polish (which is not my natural default), but their style is playful & irreverent. The sleek pony tail, the bold red lip, the dramatic long coat, and statement glasses all do the same thing: they up-the-ante on an otherwise easy & effortless look. It’s like a master class in high-low dressing.
3. They are authentically cool. They are dressing for themselves in a way that I find deeply appealing. And it goes with the grey hair. It’s almost like embracing their natural color has made them trust their own style instincts more. It exudes confidence in THE most appealing way.
Whatever style pivot you currently find yourself in (going grey or something else), I encourage you to find people whose style inspires you…and, more importantly, ask yourself why you like it. That is difference between cosplaying as someone else vs dressing up as the most confident version of yourself.
HAVE FUN: EMBRACE THE EXCITEMENT OF SHIFTING YOUR WARDROBE & STYLING INSPIRATION
In my experience, the hardest part of this process has been finding the inspiration to let my natural grey hair shine. Once I had that, the rest has truly been a lot of fun. I was a kid who lived to play dress-up, so that has been the attitude that I bring to getting dressed. It may sound silly, but sometimes you find the most incredible outfits when you let yourself play with fashion.
Here are the steps I take:
1. Choose an inspiration tear-sheet for the day, whether you are going for a signature look or love the latest trends.
2. Isolate the spirit of the look you’re inspired by OR choose a single item that you LOVE from the look, and make it the center of your outfit. PLEASE NOTE: the item can be big or small. You may choose a statement coat you’re dying to wear OR the perfect stacked earring combination. Let yourself be INSPIRED.
3. PLAY! A great way to see what works for you is to something that you genuinely don’t think goes with it and try it on. Sometimes you learn more from the things that don’t work AT ALL than you do from the things that kind of work. From a practical standpoint, this exercise has led to me mixing in more tailored pieces like blazers, skirts and shoes-other-than-sneakers to elevate my everyday style and make me look more pulled-together. From a deeply non-practical standpoint, it’s has inspired me to watch makeup tutorials and try a new makeup routine – whether they work or not, they help me move outside of my comfort zone and, last but not least…
4. HAVE FUN. And when you really like an outfit (or when you really hate it), pay attention to why. Those are the moments where you learn the most about my new style.
If I leave you with anything it’s that there is a whole new generation of women truly owning the transition process to a full head of grey hair in the most stylish ways. Gone are the days and the hard work of using hair dye to cover up your grey roots every few weeks in order to avoid the stigma of “looking old”. The best thing about embracing Mother Nature is that women can continue to have a youthful look while enjoying a more low maintenance lifestyle. And for me the personal experience has been liberating, energizing and I can’t wait to see how it evolves.
Katie Kuhn, pictured here in her most recent transition to going grey, is a fashion veteran, heading up merchandising & marketing at brands like Amour Vert, Banana Republic, Gap and Piperlime. She is an inspired storyteller and people-connector with an uncanny ability to forge and build extraordinary relationships. She is currently working on various creative projects and is a frequent collaborator and contributor to Vetted.
